History of my poetry

Year 2007, I was undergoing through one of my n-number of break ups (ironically with same girl). Thing were complete blue. I guess most of the guys undergo through this period, but just like all other guys, I also felt that my case is most critical and was able to found each and every reason to broken down.

You know, that time I was pretty GOOD BOY kind of person, I mean no fagging, no boozing and no flirting kind of guy (though I was always nice with girls:-P, but that’s complete different story). Though if now a day someone takes a look at me, he won’t believe, but trust me I started drinking after I moved to my workplace.

Oh, my thoughts are getting scattered, come to the point. Things were getting terrible day by day. Sometime I become bit introvert, so it became tough for me to get rid of my inside grime. Friend tried to console me in and out but that helped me nothing but increasing my pain. One after other sleepless nights spend but without any use. As I said before I was never in any sort of addiction and in that scenario also I didn’t opted for that easiest option, though I don’t know why.

I never thought of writing anything before this, but at that moment writing could be my only way to express what I want, what I don’t, what I feel and what I don’t want to feel.

I picked my pen n diary, start maintaining diary and shouldn’t tell lie, it really worked. I really felt relaxed after long days. Things continued for few days; yes friends, days only, not even a month. Somehow I started feeling things are getting monotonous and the weirdest part was it was not able to make me relax anymore. I took a turn and gave a glance at my diary, oh my goodness; I had written almost same thing in every pages…

Again I back to jungle. After few days somehow I felt my hands wanted to write something, but I was not at all interested in rewriting the crap diary thing and I gave birth of my first poem and I don’t know why and how but I felt relax.

Till then I never tried to write any poem, whenever my hearts tends to cry, that pain gives birth of a new poem. I never consider me as a poet or not even a person who can produce a single line. The reason is that I can’t write anything, it happens. Each single word I have given a birth, they all my waste of my scar. I’m so selfish, I never wrote a single line for a third person, because I cant write and because I am not a poet and poems are nothing more than my sweat or piss.

Still I don’t know why my friends like my poems, may be they find it too simple to tally with life or whatever….

But trust me; I don’t want to write anything anymore, I don’t wanna be any great poet or anything. I can write only when I’m in immense pain. I don’t want to give birth of any more poems that cost my unseen blood.

I want to be any one, I want to be a X-Y-Z, I want to be someone who fights for his career because someone waiting for him in home, I want be someone who face every problems with a smile because he knows by night he will get a center in the warm cleavage of his honey, I want to be a mango-people…

Am I too much demanding?